How many times have you said some version of this?

“But you KNOW what you're supposed to do!”

Put your shoes away.

Brush your teeth.

Pack your backpack.

Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.

Charge your Chromebook.

Take the water bottle out of your bag before it grows its own ecosystem. 😩😂

And the frustrating part is...

They DO know.

You've told them.

You've shown them.

You've practiced it.

You've had the same routine for what feels like 742 days.

So when they're standing there waiting for you to tell them what to do AGAIN, it's easy to think:

Why am I still reminding you about this?!

But here's something that has helped me look at these moments a little differently:

Knowing what to do and being able to independently make yourself do it are not the same skill.

A child can know every step of the morning routine and still struggle to get started without someone prompting them.

They can know their backpack needs to be packed at night and still walk upstairs without doing it.

They can know they're supposed to brush their teeth before bed and somehow end up under the covers with teeth that have seen absolutely NO toothbrush. 😂

Sometimes what looks like “They don't care” or “They're not listening” is really a problem with starting, remembering, sequencing, or following through.

And that's where we can make a small shift.

Try this instead...

The next time you're about to say:

“Go pack your backpack.”

or

“How many times do I have to tell you to brush your teeth?”

Try asking:

“What's supposed to happen next?”

Then give them a second to answer.

You're still providing support, but you're not immediately doing the thinking for them.

You're prompting them to retrieve the routine instead of automatically giving them the next instruction.

Over time, that's what we're working toward.

Not children who never need us.

Children who are gradually learning how to need less prompting from us.

And depending on their age, temperament, development, and what else is going on in their lives, that independence may not happen as quickly or consistently as we'd like.

Trust me, I know that can be frustrating.

Especially when you're already trying to get yourself out the door, find somebody's missing shoe, remember what needs to be signed, and figure out why we're announcing at 7:42 AM that we need poster board TODAY. 😩

But the goal isn't to repeat ourselves louder.

It's to slowly transfer more of the responsibility for remembering and following through back to them.

And sometimes that starts with one simple question:

“What's supposed to happen next?”

Now I want to hear from you...

What's the ONE thing you're tired of reminding your child to do?

Just hit reply and tell me.

Teeth? Homework? Chores? Backpack? Lunchbox? Deodorant? 👀

No judgment over here.

I have children too. 😂

Talk soon,